I hope that telling my story here — a story that is not straightforward, full of strange twists and turns and shame and pride alike — will speak to you today. When I put out a poll recently on twitter asking if I should write my journey of discovering my…


The most common response I get when I explain to someone that I’m demisexual is that I’m just normal and looking for a special word for my sexuality. I’ll explain as painstakingly as I can that I don’t have sexual attraction unless a close bond forms, and that I don’t…


Image Description: The title of the essay, ‘“Sexual Attraction and Libido Are Not The Same Thing, Actually” by Elle Rose’ in white text against a background that is darkened with a variety of different colors. These colors are all in ranges of blues, purples, and magenta.

Sexual orientation and behavior take a lot of different shapes and colors in human beings. We are spectrums upon spectrums, colors out of space that shift from beautiful yellows into blues and greens and purples, rarely just one way or another, often defying the rules and definitions we have laid…


On the right, cover art for the book, Before We Were Blue. It is mostly Blue, with illustrations of sneakers on the upper right and then flats on the lower left, done in white outlines. On the right in script: Before We Were Blue: A Review and Reflection by a Demisexual and Recovered Bulimic in black text against a white background.

There are a lot of books about eating disorders out there. If you’ve never looked for a book about an eating disorder before, congratulations — you have a lot of books to choose from! These include recovery workbooks, memoirs, and fictional narratives starring characters with eating disorders. The phenomenon arguably…


A photo of a woman with long red hair turning her head so that her hair covers her face. She is wearing a white dress and standing in front of some greenery with red blossoms. The background photo is slightly blurry. Over top is the text in white, ‘I am tired of doubting my demisexuality’.

“Ah, hobbies. Well, I just finished grad school…”

I nod at the young man sitting across from me in the small bar, sipping my hard cider and wishing I’d eaten more beforehand. My stomach is in knots. This is my first date in a long time. I tried dating while…


This is a transcript of the first episode of The Invisible Spectrum, a podcast all about the A under LGBTQIA+ — Asexual, Agender, and Aromantic, as well as those under the Asexual and Aromantic spectrums. This transcript was graciously provided by my good friend Drew, who you can follow here…


The demisexual pride flag- three stripes horizontal, white, purple, then gray, and on the left side a sideways black triangle.

One of the most interesting things about language — particularly queer language — is that it is constantly evolving and changing. Within the last few years I have learned many new terms for experiences that are housed within other experiences, or that specify an experience that maybe didn’t have a…


It took me a number of years to put all the pieces together pertaining to my sexuality. Most of my life, I thought that it was very straightforward and that I just didn’t know how to describe what I was and wasn’t experiencing. …


The asexual pride flag. Stripes descending horizontally in black, gray, white, and purple. Text is centered and reads “I think I’m Ace!…Now What?”

“Asexual.”

It used to seem like a strange, foreign word — but then you saw a chart online that talked about what makes someone asexual. You did some googling and found some blog posts and videos where people talk about their experiences. You’ve dissected your life, you’ve googled, you’ve talked to…


Very briefly I would like to let readers who may need to know that this story is about purity culture (evident from the title) and contains discussions of victim blaming and mentions of sexual assault and abuse. This is part of this as it is, unfortunately, woven deeply into purity…

Elle Rose

I am a 28 year old gray ace advocate for asexuality and other queer identities. I also advocate for mental health and disability.

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