I hope that telling my story here — a story that is not straightforward, full of strange twists and turns and shame and pride alike — will speak to you today. When I put out a poll recently on twitter asking if I should write my journey of discovering my orientation for International Asexuality Day, I thought I had told it enough times, or that it wasn’t interesting enough, to get a majority rule of “yes”. The social media page for the day itself said they were interested, so, here I am — restarting these thoughts at 8pm eastern time…

The most common response I get when I explain to someone that I’m demisexual is that I’m just normal and looking for a special word for my sexuality. I’ll explain as painstakingly as I can that I don’t have sexual attraction unless a close bond forms, and that I don’t have it under any other circumstance, and that most of the time I don’t even have it then — and I’ll be met with “Oh, so you’re just waiting for the right person.” Then they’ll proceed to tell me that everyone does that while also talking about who they’re sexually…

This is a transcript of the first episode of The Invisible Spectrum, a podcast all about the A under LGBTQIA+ — Asexual, Agender, and Aromantic, as well as those under the Asexual and Aromantic spectrums. This transcript was graciously provided by my good friend Drew, who you can follow here on Twitter. You can listen to this episode here on Buzzsprout.

On the premiere episode, I am joined by Gentle Giant Ace, AKA Marshall Blount. Marshall is an asexual and aromantic activist in Eerie, Pennsylvania. Join us as we talk about his life story, orientations, activism, Bojack Horseman, and more!

The demisexual pride flag- three stripes horizontal, white, purple, then gray, and on the left side a sideways black triangle.

One of the most interesting things about language — particularly queer language — is that it is constantly evolving and changing. Within the last few years I have learned many new terms for experiences that are housed within other experiences, or that specify an experience that maybe didn’t have a word before. Humans are incredibly creative, after all. Most people I know who don’t consider themselves creative are actually great problem solvers — they just don’t put a brush to canvas, so they don’t think of themselves as creative. But they are — the evidence is all around us.


It took me a number of years to put all the pieces together pertaining to my sexuality. Most of my life, I thought that it was very straightforward and that I just didn’t know how to describe what I was and wasn’t experiencing. After learning about the asexuality spectrum in my 20’s, however, I found out that there was a name for my experiences and my sexuality: demisexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person does not experience sexual attraction towards anyone of any gender. This is not an illness or a lack of hormones — this is…

The asexual pride flag. Stripes descending horizontally in black, gray, white, and purple. Text is centered and reads “I think I’m Ace!…Now What?”


It used to seem like a strange, foreign word — but then you saw a chart online that talked about what makes someone asexual. You did some googling and found some blog posts and videos where people talk about their experiences. You’ve dissected your life, you’ve googled, you’ve talked to close friends and asked them some questions that you worried were maybe too personal but you just had to know if this thing — this word — was what made you feel so different in so many spaces all your life. Maybe you’ve never had sex and never been interested…

Very briefly I would like to let readers who may need to know that this story is about purity culture (evident from the title) and contains discussions of victim blaming and mentions of sexual assault and abuse. This is part of this as it is, unfortunately, woven deeply into purity culture. If this is not for you, that’s completely fine! Take care of yourself first. With that, let’s begin.

When I was about five years old, my grandparents took me and a few of my cousins to see the new Pixar feature, A Bug’s Life. It was a fun little…

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, sometimes called RBG or even The Notorious RBG, was a justice of the supreme court who has a legacy of fighting for women’s rights in the U.S.A. and contributed greatly to the recognition of women’s rights in America.

On Friday, September 18th, she passed away from pancreatic cancer.

Today, I would like to talk about her life and impact, and why her seat on the Supreme Court was and is so important.

Early Life

As I stated above, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was born in 1933. She was born to an immigrant family and was the first-born American on her…

I will never know if I see colors the same way that you do.

Think about it: no matter what I do, no matter what you do, no matter what technology provides or glasses we put on, we will never have the same vision. I can never know for sure if what I describe as pink or yellow is what you see as pink or yellow, no matter how much I describe it. You can never know if I see blue and green when you do or if I see orange and brown instead. No matter what we do, we…

The Oxford Dictionary defines unlearn as a verb meaning “to discard (something learned, especially a bad habit or false or outdated information) from one’s memory.”

A lot of my adult life so far has been centered around unlearning things I was raised with. Part of growing up is pushing past what you were taught and doing your best to figure out what you do, in fact, believe, so that you can create a better future for yourself and others. This involves both actively learning about the world around us and taking the time and effort to challenge our core beliefs.

Elle Rose

I am a 27 year old gray ace advocate for asexuality and other queer identities. I also advocate for mental health and disability.

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